Did I Cause Your Outcomes?
Did I Cause Your Outcomes? As we learned from “Did I Cause Your Feelings?”, it is both possible to contribute to someone’s feelings, and not be responsible for them. The same goes for someone’s actions or outcomes. For example, you might punch someone, which leads them to punch you. If you hadn’t punched first, they likely would not have punched back; we can say you caused a fight. However, we CANNOT say that you are responsible for your adversary’s decision to punch you. They were not forced to fight back, and have the ability to choose their own actions. The same goes for outcomes, such as ending up in jail, developing mental illness, getting divorced, etc. Kids with parents who are divorced, mentally ill, incarcerated, or emotionally distant are at greater risk of having similar circumstances. But are parents responsible for these outcomes? I use the term “responsible” to mean that the parents should be blamed, they should feel ashamed, and their value as a parent should be evalua