Relational Trauma: "Forgiveness" and "Resolution"
Relational Trauma: "Forgiveness" and "Resolution" We often encounter an issue in relationships where one person has hurt the other either deliberately or accidentally, repairs and apologies have been made, and the offended person says they have forgiven. Yet, they still have emotional reactions when events remind them of the offense. EXAMPLE: A husband reveals a pornography habit several years into a couple’s marriage, and the wife is devastated. The couple survives the revelation and the husband goes sober. The wife says she has forgiven him for using porn and hiding it. After a year of sobriety, the wife notices her husband is spending a bit too long in the bathroom and becomes anxious. He comes out and she aggressively demands what he was doing in there. He feels hurt and defensive, accusing her of lying about having forgiven him, and a fight ensues. Turns out he was just constipated. Has she actually forgiven? I would say yes. Has her amygdala been rewired to n