Steps Family Therapy

  Update on the Flip-phone Life It’s been 3 months since I transitioned back to flip phone life. And a lot of people have asked me about it. Here’s my response. This is the Nokia N139DL. It cost $20 from Walmart. I got a brick phone when I turned 16 (2012), and used a flip phone for most of college, from 2015-2018, and I was quite satisfied. I switched to an i-phone only because my dating life was stunted by errors in communication between my 2007 Verizon model and the newest smartphones. Now I have a family, a small business, and a small social media presence. And I am highly satisfied with returning to a flip phone. For starters, it was way cheaper up front than trying to replace an i-phone 8. Second, I have significantly reduced the amount of time I spend catering to my phone. I’m not afraid to lose it, break it, or afraid that I’ll need it for something besides calling people. My phone serves me, not vice-versa. It’s highly replaceable. When people see it, they often assume tha...

https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg?si=VaPTmlTBojNi300_   Everyone can relate to this hilarious satire on some people’s inability to see the obvious impediments to resolution. There’s a NAIL in your head! Don’t you think the pain and pressure you’re feeling, and the snags in your sweaters, will go away if you took it out? The answer is YES, but the woman is actually correct in that the real issue is NOT the nail.  Let me explain. The pain, pressure, and snags are issues caused by the nail, but the REAL issue is the underlying reason that this woman feels the need to have a nail in her head. The NAIL serves a function. I might theorize that this woman may feel starved for attention and will desperately seek it in extreme ways. Or, she is experiencing a deeper pain and needs some extreme stimulation to distract her from it. Or, she has a suppressed fear of intimacy, and that nail keeps her boyfriend at a safe distance.  Some analogous nails in our lives are:  -Alcohol  -...

  It would be best to read this article after reading “How to Measure Progress”, found here .  This article takes us a step further in understanding what different psychological states look like, thus helping us understand how to interact effectively with people in various states. As a review, we recall that there are 6 common emotional states for people to be in, as seen in the U-Model:  Dissociated Logic : A functional state where people can remain productive as long as they can avoid certain triggering stimuli. Though people in this state seem “ok”, they are actually in survival mode, have limited access to empathy, and are engaging in at least some behavior detrimental to their health to help them stay in this state (e.g., addictions to caffeine, gaming, sugar, excessive humor, etc.). This is a common state for those with personality disorders. See the post “Covert Depression” for more about this state. Dissociated Fight/Flight : A state of intense anxiety or anger th...