Why Am I Anxious, Depressed , or Angry?: The Brain and the Bucket

 The Brain and The Bucket: Why Am I Anxious or Depressed?

5 min video version:

https://youtu.be/K_v9r_AP_Qg

Many of you have seen me draw these diagrams in session to help you understand the environmental sources of maladaptive emotions (obviously this is a gross simplification of brain science, but the concept can be helpful). I work from the assumption that all emotions come from REAL sources, and that we don't generate feelings, thoughts, or beliefs that can’t be tracked to some real experience. Babies are not born to dislike themselves, have social anxiety, go numb, be addicted, or to attack people--these are conditioned into their brains. They might be born with a disposition to these conditions (e.g., a reactive amygdala), but mental illness must still be preceded by some kind of stress buildup in most cases.

First, the Stress Bucket. We become anxious or angry when the bucket approaches capacity. It is filled with stressors of 3 kinds:

-Trauma: This is our baggage, or sludge at the bottom of the bucket. Every threat or hurt we have ever experienced that has gone suppressed or unprocessed still affects us, residing as data points in our neurons. Our brain uses this data to interpret the present. If we experience many hurts (big or small) earlier in life, or don’t process the few we have, our brains are more disposed to perceive threats in the present, making us prone to anxiety or anger. We treat this by digging up the past and recoding the data, and inserting new data with safe experiences. (See “How to Process Trauma”)

-Systemic: This level of stress is determined by the nature of our world--what we wake up to every day. How’s the government? How’s the climate? Do I experience discrimination in my culture? How’s my family dynamic? How’s my job? How is school? Any chronic pain? Living in a stressful system will make you more likely to overflow quickly. We treat this by changing whatever parts of the system are malleable, usually family dynamics, workload, and support systems.

-Daily: What stressors occur today? How’s the weather? Traffic? My child’s mood? What’s happening in the news? The stock market? What specifically happens at work or school today? We treat these using coping mechanisms and self-care. Whatever wounds we incur today that we don’t process may sink to the bottom of the bucket.

Whatever space is left is how much stress you can take before you overflow. This is where the Brain Model* comes in, divided into 3 parts for our therapy purposes:

-Growth: Centered in the Pre-frontal Cortex (PFC). This is where we think, analyze, make plans, and deliberately create stress for growth (exercise, learning, relationship building).This is what makes us human. As long as our bucket is not full, we can feel safe, happy, and progress in life.

-Fight/Flight: Centered around the limbic system. When our bucket approaches its capacity, we feel threatened and are either afraid or angry. Our resources are diverted to survival functions, meaning faster heart rate, breathing, and muscle contractions, but restricted digestion (anxiety-induced stomach problems?) and less access to LOGIC and memory retention. We interpret everything as either safe or unsafe: Hobbies are safe, tasks are not (even easy ones). Validation and love is safe; logical explanations, solutions, and challenges are not.

-Freeze: Centered around the brainstem, where the most basic functions exist (heart/lungs). When the threat is relentless, our bucket overflows, and we feel trapped in our hurt, the best thing to do is play possum--go numb, panic, or sink into a depressed stupor. We have even less access to logic/learning, no energy in our muscles, and can do little else but breathe. We will stay in this state until the body perceives that getting up will be safe enough. When it does, it will likely enter Fight/Flight Brain. Then, when it feels safe enough, it will enter Growth Brain.

Maybe you are at full capacity (you are always anxious or irritable)? Maybe there’s no escaping the overflow (you go numb/depressed/frozen in panic)? Maybe you are bouncing between Fight/Flight and Freeze? Either way, we get you back to your Growth Brain by draining the bucket. The trick is figuring out where and how. Coping mechanisms? Behavioral strategies? Do we get your family in here? Do we cut straight to your baggage and cry about the past? Let’s figure it out together.

*The Brain Model is adapted from Dan Siegel’s concept, as found in The Whole Brain Child