Steps Family Therapy

  Hibernation is a form of depression. When an animal feels that going out into a food-scarce snowy environment will be a waste of calories, it stays in bed and slows down its metabolism. When your body is physically exhausted, it “depresses,” diverting all resources to conservation and recovery. When a deer is caught by a mountain lion and resistance is futile, it depresses its functions, particularly pain transmission. Depressive responses are normal and necessary for mammalian survival. Now, imagine interfering with them. You go into a bear’s cave while it is hibernating and poke it, saying things like: -So, what’s your plan? -You can’t just do nothing all day. - C’mon, I have lots of ideas! -You’re causing your own problem by being so lazy. If you’re lucky, the bear will ignore you, but I expect an aggressive response. If you manage to kick said bear out of the cave, it will operate half-heartedly because it is resisting strong hibernation instincts. This disruption will make i...

  “...The human being is designed for a long childhood, followed by a short adolescence, then adulthood… What we see children experiencing now, however, is an ever-shorter childhood, followed by premature, prolonged adolescence from which ever fewer seem to be emerging.” -Benjamin Hoff, The Te of Piglet, 1992 I could very easily diagnose most of my clients with a condition called “premature adolescence,” which I agree leads to “chronic adolescence.” There are many ways we can induce such a condition in humans, which all can be described as developmental missteps: -Children are often made to feel responsible for adults’ emotions. Not even the best therapists can sustainably be in charge of other adults' emotions. Adults who can’t manage their own feelings take away the period wherein children learn to manage theirs. -We instill a sense of competition, the belief that there aren’t enough grades, college spots, or jobs to go around. I see 7th graders losing sleep over their resumes. -...