Depression, The Natural Process

 Hibernation is a form of depression. When an animal feels that going out into a food-scarce snowy environment will be a waste of calories, it stays in bed and slows down its metabolism.

When your body is physically exhausted, it “depresses,” diverting all resources to conservation and recovery.

When a deer is caught by a mountain lion and resistance is futile, it depresses its functions, particularly pain transmission.

Depressive responses are normal and necessary for mammalian survival.

Now, imagine interfering with them. You go into a bear’s cave while it is hibernating and poke it, saying things like:

-So, what’s your plan?

-You can’t just do nothing all day.

-C’mon, I have lots of ideas!

-You’re causing your own problem by being so lazy.

If you’re lucky, the bear will ignore you, but I expect an aggressive response. If you manage to kick said bear out of the cave, it will operate half-heartedly because it is resisting strong hibernation instincts. This disruption will make it harder for the bear to operate normally when the snow melts and there’s actually a good reason to leave the cave. If you manage to shut down the hibernation response altogether (usually by shaming the bear for having it), you get a bear that lives in a state of agitation and dysregulation, feeling confused about its body responses. Or a numb, robot-like bear (See “Covert Depression”).

One of the first things I do with clients is give them permission to be depressed. If the body is depressing, it is doing so for a good reason (certain stressors overwhelming the system). When the body has rested sufficiently, the next natural step is to steadily work through the emotions that triggered the depressive function (this is also what animals do!). When the emotions don’t kill us, or draw threats from the environment (such as fixing, shaming, or judging), they flow out. Our body doesn’t detect “winter” anymore, and we can enjoy the spring.

But interference can cause serious issues. As mentioned before, shaming people for being depressed or impressing urgency in other ways can force people out of depression. Sometimes this is necessary (in life/death situations) but usually it’s not. Invalidating the reasons the body got depressed (anxiety sources), keeps the person from moving through the next natural process, and can send them back into depression.

Other things that distract from emotional flow (phones, video games, drugs, shopping) also interfere with recovery (though sometimes necessary, See “Levels of Coping”). Imagine if you gave that bear a Netflix subscription and it just binged all winter instead of hibernating as it should?

Some of you might be thinking, “So you’re saying I should let them sit around all day and be depressed?”. No. I’m saying that this person will recover naturally in the right environment. Staying in bed all day with a phone is probably not it. Resting enough (without distraction, and without shame), then encountering a safe presence that will validate and help the emotions flow out, is. This process should not be forced, it just needs to be allowed. The therapy room is an example.

This requires that we examine our own feelings about watching our loved ones suffering from depression. Do we get scared? Do we feel intense pain as we watch it? These kinds of feelings drive the need to force someone out of it, either with aggression, or urgent attempts to fix. These feelings will need to be processed if we are to reduce our interference in someone’s healing.

* There are some conditions that may require extra-skilled guidance to go through the natural process (OCD, Personality Disorders, etc.). Please seek consultation for these. But these conditions still improve significantly in the absence of shame or forcing.

*Medications play a different role for each person. Some I see definitely restricting the healing process. Some make the healing possible. Some just do nothing. You’ll know best how a medication is affecting you.

See also "Seasonal Depression (SAD)"