Posts

Fostering Gratitude in Children

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Parents sometimes ask me how they can help their kids be more grateful. I typically start this answer by defining “gratitude” as a feeling, rather than a character trait; the feeling of happiness, pleasure, relief, or security we get when we receive something we actually want. We feel grateful for certain things, and not for other things, and can feel gratitude and ingratitude at the same time (e.g., “I’m grateful for the candy, but not for your dirty look”). Not being grateful for something, or many things, does not make a person inherently “ungrateful.” We don’t feel grateful for things we don’t want. We might act grateful when someone gives us something we don’t want, but I don’t call this “gratitude.” This is either strategic (trying to appease someone to get something from them in the future), fearful (appeasing to avoid punishment), or caretaking (trying to prevent someone else from feeling upset). Grateful-appearing behaviors may be adaptive to certain situations, but they a...
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Are We Raising Weak Kids?

  Are We Raising Weak Kids? I’ve gotten this question a lot recently in some form or another. And the short answer is, YES. But the long answer is NO, all things considered. Let’s explain. Past generations had it rough. They had more wars, more abuse, more crime, less social welfare, more disease, more economic insecurity, more lead in their pipes, and they actually had to make phone calls instead of texting. The further in the past you go, the more “Do or Die” it was. And the result? More people died. And they died a lot earlier. And those that didn’t learned to survive hard things. It’s just that the way they survived looks different from how kids do today. And, if we really look closely, we’d find that we don’t want kids to adapt the same way their parents did. Let’s look at “Anxiety” and “Depression,” which most kids identify with these days. Anxiety is the activation of the Fight/Flight response and Depression is the activation of the Freeze response, for when the Fight/Flight...
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STEPS Booklet

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This 20-page booklet is an expanded explanation of the model presented in an earlier blog post about the STEPS, found HERE . It provides simpler explanations, more examples, and more education about specific diagnoses. Please read it slowly, and take time to reflect on how it applies, as it certainly will to all of your relationships. And please share with everyone! When sharing this material, please share the link to the blog post instead of the PDF link. This will help me track how many people are accessing the booklet. Booklet: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UXD3VE4UbH1chSdCHOWM6kX826Wbf030/view?usp=sharing Audio Version ("Steps with Boone" Podcast): https://open.spotify.com/show/4NW8Sf2AQKf4o8VytImDaz?si=tO48GBs1SFu27nceNLK8-w https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/steps-with-boone/id1634436916 Short video explanation: https://youtu.be/T7l7D1ukw0c For even more depth on effective interaction, see the book 101 Therapy Talks   HERE .
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Our Podcast, Videos, Book, Blog Titles

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 Hello! Welcome to the Steps Family Therapy Blog .  This blog contains homework assignments for clients, but also useful information for everybody else.  I'm putting the posts into audio format through my podcast "Steps with Boone" found on most major podcast streamers: https://open.spotify.com/show/5dloQVpXssuuX2EX9NxtNx https://podcasts.apple.com/.../steps-with-boone/id1634436916 https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/634b7a13a82792001234e124 As of October, 2023, most of the blog posts from previous years have been included in the book  101 Therapy Talks.  If you are a client, you should receive a free digital copy. If you are not a client, you may purchase the book here:  Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/101-Therapy-Talks-knowledge-relationships/dp/B0CLK16V2R/ref=sr_1_3?crid=STCISQMZFKD9&keywords=Boone+Christianson&qid=1698118885&sprefix=boone+christianson%2Caps%2C163&sr=8-3 There are several video versions of the posts as well, found on my...
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Steps Family Therapy Clinic Information

 Welcome to Steps Family Therapy! Location: Spanish Fork, UT (near Spanish Fork Junior High). Please contact by email (see below) for intake information. Therapists : -Boone Christianson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist; Availability: Tues/Wed 8-5, Friday 8-2; Spanish, Portuguese -Kaprena Moore, Clinical Social Worker; Availability: Monday 8-2, Thursday 12-2; Spanish; under Supervisor Brady Clegg, LCSW -Trevor Roberts, Clinical Social Worker: Availability Mon-Friday 10-5. Office in Draper. Under Supervisor Boone Christianson.  Immediate Availability! (Trevor works at Arise Counseling): https://www.arisecounselinggroup.org/ Some Saturday slots available (see below) Services available: Individual Therapy : For those wanting to treat diagnosable conditions such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, addiction, excessive anger, insomnia, or anything else with a psychological component. We tend to use Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems,    EMDR,  and Em...
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Book Diagrams

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1.a. 3-Step Model 1.b. 6-Step Model 1.c. Complete Model 1.d. Split-Brain Model 2. Brain and the Bucket 3. Trauma Tree 4.a. Course of Healing (U-Diagram) 4.b. Wide Brain Model 5. Inducing the Crisis 6.a. Impala Recovery 6.b. Human Recovery 6.c. Assault Block 6.d. Trauma Buildup 7.a “Wipe That Stupid Smile”  7.b. 7.c. 8.a. Grief Pies 8.b. Grief Slopes 9.a. Healthy Woman Prepartum 9.b. Stress Bucket Postpartum 10.a. Healthy Doll 10.b. Anxious Doll 10.c. Dependent Doll 11. Arousal
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How to Measure Progress

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  See the related video here: https://youtu.be/R3NExV6nl7Y?si=fokbA8Y0mNDNjktL The more I do this, the more I realize how subjective mental health progress really is. The definition of your optimal state of health depends very much on your current state and your environment. This post posits a general definition of an optimal mental health state and optimal environment, while recognizing that many people can only hope to achieve the best state in sub-optimal environments, and gives examples of treatment courses. An optimal state for humans would be characterized by high frontal lobe brain activity. This means a state of high awareness of the past, present, and future (no need to avoid thoughts or memories), coupled with low stress activation (low anxiety about the things within awareness). There would be high ability to relate to and cooperate with other humans, and it would be generally enjoyable. Critical thinking, creativity, and problem solving skills would be sharp. All emot...
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